Taking Action
Often, we know we need to change.
Yet, until something hits the fan, we sit and lay, stagnant and frozen in what’s familiar.
I must work hard on acting on what’s important. I know my default is to wait until I absolutely have to do something. Recovery is teaching me that a different way works better. A way to address things as they arise, to withstand short-term pain for long-term gain, and in doing so, moving through life in a much more intentioned, pleasant and empowered state, especially when things are hard.
There are different stages in the cycle of change and taking action is often preceded by two types of contemplation.
Pre-contemplation is when we know that something needs to change but the time is not now, it’s later. Contemplation is when we’re in two minds, wanting to change and fearing what might be lost forever. After all, we can get attached to people, places, and things even if they’re not healthy for us.
We seem to have this grand idea about taking action – that it needs to be momentous, transformative and last forever. This is one of the reasons we don’t act or postpone action for a time that never actually comes. We can be looking for the one practice that will make everything better, the one piece of information we’re missing, the right time of day, season, or attitude.
Waiting for something big and momentous to change our lives is unrealistic. Real, sustainable, nourishing change happens in small yet significant ways. It means doing something over and over until it becomes a habit, it means coming back to doing things after falling off the consistency horse, it means not pushing too far or too hard just to see results now.
Taking action for me means doing something different in response to the same old patterns.
It could be picking up the phone and calling someone so I’m not alone or sitting with the discomfort to build resilience in solitude. It could be reaching out to a professional to ask for help or reaching in to the part of me that holds the wisdom I need.
Contrary action is a fascinating concept in wellbeing where the best course of action at times is to do the complete opposite of the urge or impulse or default way of operating. When a low mood surfaces, it could mean going out for a walk or calling a friend, instead of crawling into bed. When anxiety emerges, it could mean practicing the breathing technique we learnt last week instead of running around helplessly.
For me, taking action has become part of my recovery programme because stagnating and freezing is not a valid option anymore.
I choose not to spiral out in those states because I never end up enhancing my own wellbeing. Instead I take action, sometimes opposite action, to avoid the place I don’t want to end up, and move in the direction I want to go. I start small, or tiny, but I act nonetheless.
The key for me is learning how to do that well – how to be gentle with myself, to exercise compassion and understanding when it feels too hard, to inspire and motivate myself when I’m ruminating and to give myself permission to just be when I need to just be. To allow guilt-free rest.
Recovery is not a straight road and it’s certainly not for the faint hearted. It takes work, and effort, and moving against our own will at times when our sanity depends on it. Not doing it alone has made all the difference for me, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t connected to people who were also taking action to better themselves – one day at a time, one step at a time.
-Written by Abha Dod
-Reviewed by Annette Culpan
