Taking Action
We often know something needs to change.
Yet, until that something hits the fan, we stay stagnant, sometimes frozen, in what’s familiar.
Recovery is teaching me that a different way is possible. A way to address things as they arise, to withstand short-term pain for long-term gain, and in doing so, to move through life in a much more intentional, fulfilling and empowered state, especially when things are hard.
There are different stages in the cycle of change and taking action is often preceded by two types of contemplation.
Pre-contemplation is when we know that something needs to change but the time is not now, it’s later. Contemplation is when we’re in two minds, wanting to change and fearing what might be lost forever. After all, we can get attached to people, places, and things even if they’re not healthy for us.
We seem to have this grand idea about taking action – that it needs to be momentous, transformative and last forever. This is one of the reasons we don’t act or postpone action for a time that never actually comes. We can be looking for the one practice that will make everything better, the one piece of information we’re missing, the right time of day, season, or attitude.
Waiting for something big and momentous to change our lives is unrealistic. Real, sustainable, nourishing change happens in small yet significant ways. It requires a fine combination of commitment and discipline. It means doing something over and over until it becomes a habit, coming back to doing things after falling off the consistency horse, not pushing too far or too hard just to see results now.
Taking action for me means doing something different in response to the same old patterns.
It could be picking up the phone and calling someone so I’m not problem solving alone. It could be reaching out to a professional to ask for help or reaching in to the part of me that holds the wisdom I need.
Contrary action is a fascinating concept in wellbeing where the best course of action at times is to do the complete opposite of the urge, impulse or default way of operating. When a low mood surfaces, it could mean going out for a walk or calling a friend, instead of crawling into bed. When anxiety emerges, it could mean pausing and practicing a breathing technique instead of running around helplessly.
For me, taking action has become part of my recovery programme because stagnating and freezing is not a valid option anymore.
I choose not to spiral into states of helplessness because it never ends well. Instead, I take action, sometimes opposite action, to avoid the place I don’t want to end up and move in the direction I want to go. I start small, or tiny, but I act nonetheless.
The key for me is learning how to be gentle with myself, to exercise compassion and understanding when things feel too hard. I oscillate from inspiring and motivating myself when I’m ruminating and giving myself permission to be, just be, when it meets my need.
Recovery is not a straight road and it’s certainly not for the faint hearted. It takes work, and effort, and moving against our own will at times when our sanity depends on it. Not doing it alone has made all the difference for me. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t connected to people who were also taking action to better themselves – one day at a time, one step at a time.
-Written by Abha Dod
-Reviewed by Annette Culpan
